And 23 Years Later...

     As I was walking through the room, my visiting 23-year-old son casually said, "Love you, Mom."  I responded with, "Love you forever, like you for always." With him a bit baffled, I tried to remind him that I have occasionally texted or emailed that phrase to him, to which he did not recall at all.
     Well! I had to go directly to the bookshelf and pull out my 23-year-old copy of I Love You Forever, which when received back in 1988 made me cry my eyes out until I couldn't even see the pages anymore.  If you have never read it and you are a mother, you must read it at once. If you are a mother, read it, and never remotely teared up in just ONE eye, you need to be in therapy.
     I sat on the arm of the sofa where he was lounging, handed him the copy with his name in it, and insisted that he read it aloud to me and all other ears, one listener being his girlfriend.  As he opened to the first page and began to read, it was heartlessly recited.  I said, "No! You must read it with FEELing...and use a gentle, sweet voice."  He complied, with a smurk, making fun of my sentimentality.  (Boys!)  He DID, however, remember me having him find the cat on every page and

promptly had his girl find each one, as well... using his gentle, sweet voice. Good boy.  Some things stick, thank goodness.
     As he proceeded on with the mom continually sneaking into her son's room, he says, "She's a little creepy!"  I must say, I had to agree!! Each picture-page made her look more and more like a Peeping Tom or a predator!  I urged him to read it sweeter and it wouldn't be so freaky, to stop laughing every time he turned the page and looked at the progression of the pictures and words.  I won't even GO into his conclusions about the boy as a man, his home, his kitchen or various other things. (I won't say more, because I surely don't want to ruin the end of the story for you who haven't had the joy of experiencing it. I've only relayed his twisting of the first 90%. You're welcome.)  
     So, there's what 23 years down the road of life can do..or ruin...for one unbelievably heart-

throbbing little story now told from the mouth of a grown son.  Be sure of this: I will hold onto that little paperback and read it dearly to my someday little grandkids.  It will stay on MY bookshelf and I will NOT let EITHER of my boys have the privilege of even holding it in their grimy big man-hands to turn it into a travesty. 
   In all, I will never forget the tears I shed, while riding in a car, during my first reading, because I had a sweet, tiny 6 pound bundle of boy who had my whole heart and soul.  Also, I will always remember that entertaining reading of my now 170 pound son while I sat near him, overlooking his shoulder.  Both wonderful milestones I will cherish. 
     Note to self:  Keep all saved childhood books away from sons.
     Second note to self:  Check on getting them therapy....for FEELings.

The Calm Before (and During) the Storm

     I watched the easy surf, the morning birds, and the early risers as I walked south on the east shore of the Atlantic this morning.  It was a bit overcast and the sun was trying to melt away the covering.  However, no gray could dwell within me with the Light that was bursting forth from inside out, while listening to my favs on the iPod (one great invention, I must say...). How hard it was to not raise my hands continually!  But, not wanting to have strangers think me crazy, even though I'd never see them again, I gave a few great big stretches here and there.
     The beach does this to me; has this way of piercing my soul.  The vastness of the ocean, the unending shoreline, the constant breeze all remind me how BIG He is and how much I should believe in that greatness to handle all my weary, little woes. 
     I had my 100-Day-After-Radiation appointment at the hospital the other day.  Zoomed through with flying colors.  I do not want to forget how far and undoubtedly God has taken me on this cancer-journey in my life.  So I must go to the ocean, or to the mountains, to be reminded once again.  Is it possible that He created such greatness in the Beginning just for that reason?  He big, me little; He strong and mighty; me dependent and secure.  So, let the oceans roar and the winds blow, as are promised later today.  For I know that when the storms come, I can be calm, not disturbed by the waves or wind.
    Bigness is way underrated. 

The Not-So-Long and Winding Road

     A few minutes ago, I kisses all three of my children on the screen of my cell phone.  That's about the best I can do these days to see them all in one place.  Their roads take them all in different directions... daily, weekly, monthly and yearly.
    My oldest son, Ryan, has flown to South Dakota where he and his band, Kadesh, are doing a 2-week gig.  I missed him on his 23rd birthday, a day that always takes me back to those first few, new minutes with him in my arms.  Now, I fit under his shoulders when we hug.  When near and here, the 20 minutes away that he lives can seem far.
     My middle child, Christopher, has a route that takes him from east Orlando to Sanford to Eustis and wherever.  His college days, job and girlfriend keep him on the road a lot.  He will no longer be a teenager soon, becoming a big 2-0.  He would want to to say that I fit under his arms, too.
      My baby girl, Holly, is no longer a baby girl at 15, even though she does fit in my hold...not that she likes it.  She will be driving, however not alone, this beginning this summer.  But, her iTouch with FaceChat, the cell phone with texting, and the computer with her skills take her to her friends and family all over the country.  It is amazing how we can be virtually anywhere these days.  It's hard to use the line "because I know!" when in a blink of an eye, she can find out if I really do.  Pooey technology!
     My husband, Doug, travels all over the place these days, getting his fill of the hills, the heights, and the hindsight of the days gone by.  I can't keep up with him.  He can "drive' me crazy, yet I get to go along for the, sometimes, amazing rides.
     So, where did all the years go?  So many mileposts passed, so many destinations reached.  My kids are growing up and away.  I must face that fact.  The road is shorter than you think, oh, parents of little ones!  It races along that winding road until your hair is blown to heck and you're picking bugs out of your teeth.  Then, you turn around and no one is in the back seat anymore.
     Tonight, all of us, except one, will ride in the same vehicle to visit Grandma.  And I will turn around and say, "Are you buckled up?" It's my mom-given right.

Following the traffic...

Well, considering that it seems as if so many people are getting on the Blog Freeway, I decided that I have stuff to say as well!  Now...for the life of me...I can't think of a blasted thing to write.  So, you will be disappointed and not save my blog site.  I have NO clue how to manage this spot or even HOW to get you to see it.  I live on a "need-to-know" basis.  Guess now I need to know.  Therefore, I'll stay in my lane for the time being...WAY over to the right...in the slow poke area...caution lights on...low beams shining...letting the crazy drivers pass me by for the time being.  See you at my next milepost!